


Wizard-con

by stranabambina



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, The Last Unicorn - Peter S. Beagle
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 10:38:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stranabambina/pseuds/stranabambina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wizcon is a gathering of magic users from all over the multiverse.<br/>Ponder quite enjoys it. So did Rincewind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wizard-con

**Author's Note:**

> This is the ultimate proof organic chemistry is bad for my health.  
> Also, there are a few footnotes. I am so sorry. I guess if you don't want to scroll up and down you can just read them once you've finished.  
> Thanks for reading!

As he served himself some more canapés, Ponder Stibbons noticed a wrinkled, leathery hand feeling around the table-top. When it eventually found and recognized the peanuts bowl, it quickly snatched it off the buffet. Or at least it tried. Ponder hit it while it retreated and put the bowl back on the table.  
"Eek", said the Librarian. It was a really angry sort of eek; an 'I'll bite your finger off if you do it again' eek. Ponder shuddered and walked away. If somebody really cared about the damn peanuts, they could risk their own lives for those.  
It wasn't like the reputation of the Unseen University wasn't tainted enough already: the Archchancellor was infamous among the 'friend of all living things' types of magic users, plus he generally put everyone off even at home; his fellow faculty members would complain about the buffet being too scarce or not quality enough, but still ate as much as they could and stole food to bring as a snack at panels 1; people still hadn't learnt it wasn't a good life choice to address the Librarian as 'monkey', and the chaos made the Bursar go more, well, bursar than usual.2

Ponder was fairly sure he was the only Unseen University wizard who actually enjoyed Wiz-con. He wasn't too fond of getting called Harry every other step, but it was still a place where he could find people who took him seriously, for a change, and a golden opportunity to gather material for his studies on the nature of Magic itself.  
To be true, that was a bit of an exaggeration: Rincewind was usually slightly less miserable during Con. This was mainly for two reasons: it was a lot less dangerous than the Wizzard's average day and he had found a friend.  
He was a nice fellow with a name Ponder didn't dare to pronounce for fear it might summon something nasty from the Dungeon Dimensions. He was also totally inept as far as magic was concerned. He could do a few tricks, which was still more than Rincewind ever managed, but he had no control whatsoever over the big stuff. If he ever did anything seriously powerful, and that happened sometimes, it was because magic had acted through him. They had bonded a lot in the past few years. Rincewind had even started helping Ponder on his research in the High Energy Magic Building after he had vented the idea of a system to contact people in other Universes.

So, Ponder was taken aback when he found Rincewind moping against a wall, staring blankly to the floor.  
"Er, didn’t your friend make it this year, Rincewind?", he asked.  
The man kept on staring at the floor. Ponder tapped on his shoulder lightly. Rincewind to turned to face him.  
"Oh, no, Schmendrick is here" he said.  
"Then why are you here brooding? Go have some fun!" said Ponder. He felt a pang of embarrassment realising he sounded like his own mother.  
"I went". He took a deep sigh. "Looks like he has become a 'real magician' now", said Rincewind, and his voice was harsher than Ponder had ever heard it be, "He wouldn't talk about anything else. Tenth time he mentioned the lady unicorn I pulled an excuse and ran away".  
"But you should be glad for him then!".  
"Why would I be?".  
"Rincewind, if he became a proper wizard, then so could you!", Ponder said, and as soon as the word 'proper' had escaped his lips he knew he was saying the wrong thing. Not merely an incorrect one, just the worst thing he could come up with in that moment.  
Rincewind was so furious he was shaking.  
"I am a proper wizard" he said, slowly, "Just not a really good one".

  
  
  


1 those few they actually attended. Unseen University wizards were not all that keen on lectures and/or sharing ideas. At the first year of the Con, most of the faculty just signed up for those taking place in Room 3B, figuring it was code for "free time" there too. Except Room 3B actually existed. Some never recovered from the shock and have sworn off lectures ever since.   
2 The Unseen University might have got a chance of a rise in popularity, or at least of convincing the wizarding community that  that was just the way people were on the Disc, if only the witches had attended too. Unfortunately, they had all agreed it was a gathering made for posh city wizards who relied too much on bits of paper and stayed well away from it. Not even the prospect of free food would shake them from their decision.


End file.
